Welcome To Rockville 2012

And so the epic continues!  If you read in Welcome to Rockville 2011 then you know what happened last year!  Now…we have a whole new can of worms to open and throw out into a crowd of spastic cheerleaders during one of their midnight runs to Burger King as they engorge themselves on quarter-pounders (it’s only one small dream of ours…not a big one, just a dream).  Last year we weren’t prepared so in order to help anyone who wants to go, we have prepared a list of provisions we deem necessary to survive a full day on the grassy knoll that is Rockville.

  1. Bring a towel or blanket to sit upon.  Important since you actually get to see what was on the ground before you sat on it.
  2. Moist towelettes and hand sanitizer.  This is not only important for the portables and bathroom areas, but for the aftermath of the water hose in the main pit area!
  3. Water.  Lots and lots of it!  You can refill in the fountains or the tap.  It’s a cheaper way to go.
  4. Sunscreen.  You can never have enough of it!
  5. A good camera!  You most likely won’t get close enough to the stage for good pics so make sure it has a great zoom and focus!

Basically, just bring what you would bring to the beach but a beach that requires brass knuckles and a debasing of the human language.

So here the three of us were again.  This time, we were early and ready to rock!  I am glad we were early and I’ll tell you why later.  Becca had thought of everything this year so we ended up spending the day it comfort!  We started slow and in the shade.  We also decided to stay away from liquor this year since that was our downfall last year.  We had a lineup with us and chose strategically what we all wanted to see and when we need to get sneaky.  Soulswitch was up but we decided to lay out in the middle of the knoll and listen.  That is where a good camera comes in handy!  We just relaxed and listened to the music until the bands we wanted to see came up.  First up…Lacuna Coil.  An Italian band with a few radio plays but we love those obscure bands!

After this was the one I came back to finally see…Halestorm!  We waited until POD was playing and then made our move to the main stage.  This turned out to be far more problematic then one would actually think!  I noticed the ground was wet and tried to come up with a logical solution amongst the illogical, booze soaked, bikini blubber that surrounded me.  I am talking flesh all around me and none of it was appealing!  And when your guards down…that’s when that son of a bitch with a water hose aims right for you!  Who the fuck came up with that!  I’m not having it!  Sure it cooled you down for like a minute, but then when the mold and sweat and nast and, and,and….it was horrible!  I smelled things during that cramped menagerie of festering tattooed flesh that would have made a smelly cheese connoisseur cringe!

So Halestorm finally came out after I had to listen to one of the worst sounding performances by POD ever!  How sad!  I like POD just not in concert!  So here was Lzzy Hale and the rest of Halestorm being absolutely awesome as hell when out of nowhere there was a person on top of Leola’s head!  A body surfing hopeful jumped up somwhere behind us and managed to get all the way to us before we noticed!  And people, if you crowd surf…don’t do so if you’re over 150 lbs. please!  Angry and annoyed at this, I had to hide my camera from the onslaught of both body surfer and evil bitch ass bastard with water hose!  This made every picture rare!  The people in front of us were nice enough to warn us of incoming surfers and since Becca is so much taller than us (we look like the cell phone bar commercial with the bars)she caught it before us!  And just one time, she got unlucky as a man twisted in mid air as she held her hand to stop him from falling on her and it broke her finger…literally!!  She then got smashed and pummeled until she cried “When!”

So as we were getting cleaned up I noticed a large crowd outside the gate.  Apparently, this 10,000 person venue oversold by almost 2,000 tickets!  We realized then that Met Park was beyond capacity!  This is turn meant we were fucked!  We quickly got back to our pad and waited for the last show we wanted to see that day Shinedown!  Even though Korn and Evanesence were the big tickets…we could really care less honestly.  We’re good.  I had a good enough camera to get some good pics but other than that it was Shinedown,  But before that happened, more wondrous goth/emo/hippie craziness went down in front of main stage 2!

Five Finger Death Punch, a good band if you’re into metal, had to get in front of their crazy, drunk, and violent fan base and tell them to calm down.  A metal band had to tell their fans to stop being so damn violent or they wouldn’t go on!  We couldn’t see again due to the new second tower in front of main stage 2 but that must have been insanely bad for the band to have to quite down the audience!

When we got up for Shinedown, we knew it was our last one.  We took our positions in the middle but further back so we wouldn’t get the crowd surfers again.  Becca had gotten pretty banged up from the first time so we didn’t want anymore of that!  The carnage on the ground was incredible!  I was wondering why the garbage cans were empty…everyone was just using the ground!  By this time everyone and your grandmother were wasted and frisky!  There was no stopping some of them.  One toothless wonder behind Leola was doing something to piss her off with her hair or some shit like that…either way it was odd!

Shinedown took the stage!  Yes, they are as good as people say they are!  Amazing!  It was great!  Good energy, the people were bearable…but one thing was still haunting us and it came up right behind Becca and knocked her down.  How in the hell crowd surfers were starting as far back as we were is still amazing to us!  Let’s just say we got the hell beat out of us…but not before we took pieces of the surfers away with us!  I think I saw Leola bunch some guy straight in the groin and I know I took some flesh with me.  Ah, concerts.  It’s a way to get to know people I tell you!

Once Shinedown was done we knew we wanted to leave before Korn came on so we hauled ass to the gate, waved a quick bye to Leesa at Merch, and found a quick way to change in the parking lot after a nice long, grimy day at Rockville!  Hope we gave you a nice show boys!

One thought on “Welcome To Rockville 2012

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