Tattoo Tragedies : Think Before You Ink!


Have you ever walked down the street, saw a dude on the sidewalk and thought to yourself “Damn!  That is a messed up tattoo!  What in the hell inspires someone to do that to themselves?!”.  I don’t have the answer to that…as a matter of fact, I don’t even think that guy with a rainbow streaked across his forehead with a leopard printed design of “Tiffany” on top knows why he did it.  Alls I know is, it’s there forever so that every day, looking in the mirror, they die a little every second of everyday with the shame of  disappointing their bloodline with the atrocity on their bodies.

Now don’t get me wrong…I’m all up for a tattoo IF…

  • It means something to you
  • You have a reason for getting it
  • The design has been thought through carefully and deliberated until you are absolutely sure
  • You can be proud of it later…you know, something you can live with!

I have found a small collection strewn across the net of tattoos that I believe people regret and if they don’t…they really should consider the possibility. But that is just one person’s opinion.  You guys find out if this shit is worth your skin…and the loss of respect from that barista at Starbucks when he shows you his shocked (and in some cases hysterical) face while handing over your iced latte.

How about we start with one really extreme tattoo…the full back!  Such a large canvas to work from, what do you do?  Why, show off your love for your favorite band of course…and in this case Bob Seger!

I have a suggestion of a bit of skin you should not tattoo on…the eyelids!  What in the Hell does that do for you?  You can’t see it!  And everyone is just creeped out when you blink.  And after a while, I bet someones does notice that you’re sleeping!

Nothing says sexy like a couple of six shooters pointed at your junk!  I wonder what went on here.  Was the joke at home “Stick ’em up!”?

Here’s another great idea.  Don’t mix genres!  If it’s cartoons, though a genre, be cohesive.  My Little Pony and X-Men really don’t go together!  There were no cross-overs, they weren’t even done in the same decade!  And besides, that pony looks like it could kick Wolverine’s ass!

Here is another band enthusiast!  Only this time, the back was too concealed. No, no it must be more visible!  I got it!

Have you ever dreamed of being able to time travel back to a time before you did something really stupid and spell check the work?  I think I know a few people who do!

This I consider a really nice tattoo, but…I do have a few concerns.. To start, why?  If you play the guitar then you most likely own one.  Now you have kids trying to pluck your arm to make a scream…sort of like a chord!

Unicorns and Kewpies.  No, I’m sorry…unicorns killing happy little Kewpies.  Aww…isn’t that slightly disgusting?  Did you get it to gross out your five year old?  ::sigh::

Wow!  Now, this is another “I love my band” tattoo, but having “I’m coming” ANYWHERE on a man’s chest is downright disturbing!  Thank you Valhalla…we have you to blame for this!

Ahhh…an optical illusion.  Rare this, but slightly creepy.  So why is it red on one side but blue on the other?  Which time rift did she travel?  What is between the neck?  Questions Carl Sagan couldn’t even answer!

Vulgar…just plain vulgar!  When you were drunk, did you pass out next to a broken mirror on the sidewalk and think “Hey!  I know what that kinda looks like!” and then your brilliant inebriated mind set out to make the dream come true?  If not, what the hell is wrong with you?!

How many bands can you count?  It’s sort of like Where’s Waldo only easier…if your sober that is.

There’s just a whole lot of things that are not meshing here.  Symmetry for starters.  A wasted canvas…that’s’ another.  Oh, and there is a really, really ugly looking angel near your ass.  Just thought you’d like to know!

Nothing against Lady Gaga, and the tattoo is super detailed…but, yeah.  That just says “Hi!  I’m a stalker.  I have a pair of her underwear in a Tupperware container on the mantel.”  And I think I might be in the closet trying to open the door.

Oh snap!  That is a type of dedication you don’t even see marines make during combat missions!  Wow!  Hours and hours for Louis Vuitton!  Painstaking hours…damn!  What?  I could have just gotten a purse?  Oh…

This speaks for itself!

If ever a tattoolooked painful, then this would take the cake.  It honestly looks like he carved it into his own back after his seven year old drew it out.  Still, that is devotion!

I bet he gets stopped at the airport alls the time!  I know!  I don’t see why either!

This is for when he wants to contact the ghosts in the spirit plane without having to take the board.  I don’t mess with this anyway (anything that can move on it’s own power can think for itself too!) but wouldn’t the planchet hurt a bit?

Oh boy.  Somebody…wow..nope.  Not going there.  Just, no.

For the man ready for ever occasion!  Formal dinner with the parents?  No problem, let me just get ready by taking off my shirt!  That’s class!

Barcodes are silly anyway.  You know we all will eventually have them (SciFi tells us this) why would you want to hurry along the process?

Again…spell check is very important.  In fact, I’m adding that to my list of things to consider beforehand!

Now I could have done this on rock star tattoos because this is a blog on rock…but, we have already seen most of a rock stars tattoos so why not make fun of the average Joe?  Besides, I bet everyone of these little freaks wanted to be a rock star at some point…let them dream!

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